You don’t measure love in time. You measure love in transformation. Sometimes the longest connections yield very little growth, while the briefest of encounters change everything. The heart doesn’t wear a watch - it’s timeless. It doesn’t care how long you know someone. It doesn’t care if you had a 40 year anniversary if there is no juice in the connection. What the heart cares about is resonance. Resonance that opens it, resonance that enlivens it, resonance that calls it home. And when it finds it, the transformation begins…
Jeff Brown (via significances)

(via indecisiveforalways)


This is Noah Gundersen (deftly) covering one of my favorite Joni Mitchell songs. I cringe a little at the voice break (around 3:46) but I love the dirge-y tempo and the feeling … and hearing so many people in the audience sing “Oh, Canada.”

He’s a recent discovery—Ledges (album and title track) is worth checking out—and I’ve been struggling to figure out why he was so immediately familiar and likable. The close-ups in this video caused a lightbulb today …

He looks like TSG (old “boyfriend” for new people) … albeit an inked, 25-year-old version.

For the 4th this year, Adelaide and I went to see fireworks with my parents. When we started setting up the chairs, Adelaide—who hasn’t seen him in at least 8 months—asked, “Where’s [TSG]?” (He took us to see Adelaide’s first fireworks, so it made an impression.) I was in the middle of explaining that he was with other friends this year when he texted, expressing a little nostalgia about having been together in a different place last year.

It was nice to hear from him and we texted back and forth for a bit, talking about what we’d been up to and how we should get together soon.

When I told E, who set us up, she was annoyed (with TSG) and concerned that I’d want to get back together. I don’t. He’s lovely, and there was a time he was exactly what I needed—everyone woman who’s been through a crushing divorce should have a kind, heart-on-his-sleeve guy hold her for a while—but he’s not what I need anymore. I don’t have to revisit that decision; it was the right one. I think he knows that too.

It was nice to hear from him and not feel any of those old feelings. It’s good to know that chapter is officially closed.


I confess I am in danger of one day becoming this woman. Here’s hoping most of Adelaide’s future friends are female.

Cause awkward.


bedtime conversations

(While snuggling, post story time)

Adelaide: Bedtime is not my favorite

Me: I know and that’s ok. But there are nice things about bedtime. You know what I like about it?

Adelaide: What?

Me: (squeezing her tighter) This. It’s nice to cuddle you and to read stories and talk about your day.

Adelaide: Yeah, but bedtime’s not my favorite

Me: What’s your favorite?

Adelaide: Sandwiches


Parenting Truth: Sometimes drawing a mermaid trumps eating breakfast.

(For me, not Adelaide … though most mornings she could care less about breakfast.)

It helps if your kid is gracious enough not to complain about said mermaid winding up with manatee flippers and country music hair.

Parenting Truth: Sometimes drawing a mermaid trumps eating breakfast.

(For me, not Adelaide … though most mornings she could care less about breakfast.)

It helps if your kid is gracious enough not to complain about said mermaid winding up with manatee flippers and country music hair.


right in the feels

Adelaide: Hey, you know something?

Me: What’s that?

Adelaide: I love you.


Ice cream sandwich, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and casual pose. Someone is enjoying her Wednesday.

Ice cream sandwich, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and casual pose. Someone is enjoying her Wednesday.


Tuesday Truth

My life is full of confusing right now.

This is my new office with the much-desired window. It’s brighter than it looks here—though just as dirty and streaky, which is weird since the window washers visited just a few days ago. My roommate is in Jamaica for the week (poor thing) so I’ve got the place to myself for a while. It’s gonna be beautiful in the fall with all those trees.

I received an official offer this morning, so the job is mine if I want it. (Side Note for New Followers: I’ve been contracting, so this is an offer to be a permanent employee.) I have mixed feelings about the work itself, but the opportunity has other merits,
so I’m open. 

Just a few hours later, however, I was asked if I wanted to transfer to the office in the middle of nowhere. 

What kind of timing is that?! 

The answer is obviously “NO,” in capital letters, but I feel nervous about giving it. Still, if it’s between moving several hours further South or looking for a new job, I have to go with the latter. I don’t like the work enough to move away from everything Adelaide and I have here.

But the whole thing has me spinning my wheels.

What if they wanted me to move somewhere I actually found appealing? Or what if I were offered my dream job (whatever that might be) somewhere far away? Do I want to stay here indefinitely? Under what circumstances would (or could) I move? How would that work with visitation? 

I don’t ever like to feel that I don’t have a choice.

Tuesday Truth

My life is full of confusing right now.

This is my new office with the much-desired window. It’s brighter than it looks here—though just as dirty and streaky, which is weird since the window washers visited just a few days ago. My roommate is in Jamaica for the week (poor thing) so I’ve got the place to myself for a while. It’s gonna be beautiful in the fall with all those trees.

I received an official offer this morning, so the job is mine if I want it. (Side Note for New Followers: I’ve been contracting, so this is an offer to be a permanent employee.) I have mixed feelings about the work itself, but the opportunity has other merits,
so I’m open.

Just a few hours later, however, I was asked if I wanted to transfer to the office in the middle of nowhere.

What kind of timing is that?!

The answer is obviously “NO,” in capital letters, but I feel nervous about giving it. Still, if it’s between moving several hours further South or looking for a new job, I have to go with the latter. I don’t like the work enough to move away from everything Adelaide and I have here.

But the whole thing has me spinning my wheels.

What if they wanted me to move somewhere I actually found appealing? Or what if I were offered my dream job (whatever that might be) somewhere far away? Do I want to stay here indefinitely? Under what circumstances would (or could) I move? How would that work with visitation?

I don’t ever like to feel that I don’t have a choice.


(Grandma, Adelaide, and I are cleaning up this card game)

Adelaide: No … no … not like that!

Grandma: Not like what?

(Adelaide starts moving the cards around.)

Me: Are you upset because they’re not all facing in the same direction?

Adelaide: Yes! That makes me SO mad.

Me: (exchanging a look with Grandma) Ok. Let’s fix it.

(Grandma and I start flipping over the top cards … and then Adelaide starts digging underneath them.)

Me: Oh jeez. She’s checking to make sure the ones underneath are facing the right way too.

(Grandma, Adelaide, and I are cleaning up this card game)

Adelaide: No … no … not like that!

Grandma: Not like what?

(Adelaide starts moving the cards around.)

Me: Are you upset because they’re not all facing in the same direction?

Adelaide: Yes! That makes me SO mad.

Me: (exchanging a look with Grandma) Ok. Let’s fix it.

(Grandma and I start flipping over the top cards … and then Adelaide starts digging underneath them.)

Me: Oh jeez. She’s checking to make sure the ones underneath are facing the right way too.